BOOK STUDY
Ch.1- I find myself sweating the small stuff a lot. I sweat the small stuff in several different ways, whether it’s getting mad at myself for saying the wrong thing, or feeling stressed about other peoples opinions on me. One of the biggest things I find myself getting all worked up about is something someone said. It could’ve been something as simple as “I don’t agree with you” or my friend saying something that I blow out of proportion. Daily, this happens and instead of just not sweating the small stuff I get all worked up, and waste my energy on this minor thing. Next time this happens I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t have the energy or time of day to be “sweating the small stuff.”
Ch.2-My ego distracts me quite a bit. I find myself pointing out other peoples flaws and imperfections because I’m not satisfied with my own. When I mess up or make a mistake I compare myself to others and think what I could’ve done better. Criticism isn’t all that bad, but it depends on how much criticism you are taking on. Another way my ego distracts me is by letting Judgement get the best of me. I find out someone doesn’t like me, and I automatically think how I need to change myself to meet their requirements. I need to realize that not everyone likes me and that’s okay! I should never have to change myself when someone else's OPINION isn’t the way I like it.
Ch. 3-“When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.” When I hear this a lot of things go through my mind, but one main thing I think of is, we’re never satisfied with ourselves, we are always focused on what could’ve happened, or what we don’t have. When we start focusing on what did happen and what we do have we will find inner peace. Whenever I give back to someone I feel so much better than when I receive a gift, so when we start focusing on all the good in our lives, and how we can add joy to others lives we find inner peace in ourselves.
Ch.4- When my thinking is out of control I realize that my body begins to feel sick. I began to
feel overheated almost like I have a fever. This just goes to show that letting your thinking get
out of control isn’t healthy for you. Not only does my body feel overheated, but my mind also
feels strained and tense. I realize when this happens I just need to step back, take a break and
take a moment to let my body and my mind have a rest.
Ch. 5- There have been several times when I turn something small into something huge. For
example, one time I was talking to a friend about something; she stated that I was wrong and
she was right. She continued to go on and on about how she knew what she was talking about
and that I didn’t. This immediately got on my nerves and I became very angry. Instead of just
letting it go I let this minor thing get to me and ruin my day. Next time this happens I have to
take a breath and remind myself not to sweat the small stuff.
Ch.6-Whenever there is an assignment due I immediately stress over it, and think “Im
not going to get it done” or “I have to do it right now.” Whether I’m with friends or about
to fall asleep I constantly am thinking about what I haven’t done yet, Instead of just
focusing on the moment. I know I can get whatever is due done on time along with
focusing on my own needs, so instead of stressing over work I know will get done I want
to focus on what I have done. Currently in my in basket I have cleaning my room, doing
my English assignment, and organizing my closet. After school instead of rushing to do
those things I will see my friends and focus on hanging out with my friends, and then
when I get home I can work on what needs to be done. My in basket will be there
tomorrow, but I don’t know if I will be here tomorrow. Life isn’t guaranteed so instead of
focusing on what needs to be done I need to focus on myself and living the best life I
can for awhile.
Ch. 7- I think I definitely struggle sometimes with being a strong listener. Sometimes I find myself being a great listener, and being able to fully focus on what others are saying. Other Times I find myself thinking about twenty other things while people are talking, or thinking of what I have to say next. I definitely feel like I need to work on my listening skills, and learn to focus on what others are saying rather than focusing on myself.
Ch. 8-One time I was at the grocery store by myself. There was an old lady in front of me who had a bunch of bags and was clearly struggling. I decided to ask her if she needed any help. She was very happy, and quickly said yes. I proceeded to go to her car and help her put all the groceries in the car. She said thank you, and that was about it. No one knew I helped her, so I didn’t really get any acknowledgement, but I was completely fine with this. I was fine with it because I felt so good after doing it, and I didn’t really care if anyone saw. Doing good should come from your heart not from getting glory in return. I do believe that if you do good you will get good in return thoug
15. To be completely honest I’ve never really lost a relationship due to something big because I tend to forgive people easily. A little too easily I would say. Even though I’ve never lost a relationship because of something small that I’ve turned big I realize that there are relationships where big things happened and I forgave the person, but in reality I should have made it a bigger deal because it actually was a big deal. Being a teenage girl I go through a lot of drama, and after going through a lot of drama I have realized that It’s okay to let people go in your life. If they aren’t benefiting you as a person it’s okay to lose that relationship.
16. In a year from now, I hope to focus on myself more. Instead of looking at other people's social media and wishing I could do what they do or look how they look, I hope to look at myself and be at peace with myself. I know that social media is definitely not what it seems, but of course there is still a part of me that aspires to be like “that one girl”, dress like “that one girl”, or look like that “one girl.”
17. I don’t think that life is meant to be fair at all. In life you have to realize that not everything revolves around you. Things are going to happen and it’s not going to be fair, but instead of moping around feeling sorry for yourself, you have to grow from your mistakes and struggles. When hard things happen to you that really aren’t fair you have to take it and make a positive out of the negative. Life is about learning and growing, not about if things are fair or if they aren’t fair. Because trust me, most things aren’t going to be fair.
#35 LOOKING FOR THE INNOCENCE
In your own words, describe the meaning of loving-kindness: In my words, I would describe loving-kindness as putting aside yourself and you’re personal opinions or judgment and showing love and kindness to every single person you come in contact with wether you may think their not the nicest or what not you put your ego aside and show love to those around you especially the ones that probably need it the most considering we don’t know what the people around us are going through.
What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of “their” story, rather than be caught up in the drama: I have learned that there is absolutely no reason to have problems with anyone if you don’t like someone that is okay, but personally I don’t believe that means you are rude to them or play games with them. It is okay to not get a long with everyone, but when you grow up that is going to happen a lot and you have to deal with it so it is good to distance yourself, but also show love no matter what because when you are rude to that person you aren’t doing any good you are only causing more problems. I also know that I only have about 2 years left in high school, I probably will never see these people again so why not all try to get a long and just be nice to each other.
#37 Choose being kind over being right
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look to your Ego first before you answer….: Equanimity is the ability to stay calm when you want to get upset the most. I don’t know if this is necessarily a good thing, but I have realized when I get worked up and mad about things I tend to shut down and not speak rather than lashing out and showing how angry I am. So I would say yes and no to practicing this in my life. Technically I am staying calm, but at the same time my silence speaks many volumes and that is how I show my anger so I guess you could also say no.
#38 Tell three people (Today) how much you love them
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?: The first person I would choose would be my mom. This is because she ultimately is the one who does the most for me. She will drop everything for me when I need her to and always has and always will have my back. My mom gives me the best advice, puts others before herself, and loves others with everything in her and for that reason I would want her to know I love her. The second person I would choose is my friend Ethan. Ethan is the most kind, caring, and selfless person I have ever met. He puts my needs before his own and shows me nothing but love even when I probably don’t deserve it. No matter what he is doing I know he would drop everything to be there for me. I don’t need to ask him for things he just does it and for that reason I want Ethan to know I love him. Finally the third person I would want to tell I love them would be my friend Emily. Emily is that one person who will be there for me no matter what. If we don’t talk for 3 weeks and I need her she will be there for me and we will pick up right where we left off. Emily and I enjoy the little things together and everything we do together makes me happy. I genuinely enjoy her presence and she is just unlike anyone I have ever met. She makes me smile from ear to ear and laugh until I have an 8 pack. I love emily so much.
In your own words, describe the meaning of loving-kindness: In my words, I would describe loving-kindness as putting aside yourself and you’re personal opinions or judgment and showing love and kindness to every single person you come in contact with wether you may think their not the nicest or what not you put your ego aside and show love to those around you especially the ones that probably need it the most considering we don’t know what the people around us are going through.
What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of “their” story, rather than be caught up in the drama: I have learned that there is absolutely no reason to have problems with anyone if you don’t like someone that is okay, but personally I don’t believe that means you are rude to them or play games with them. It is okay to not get a long with everyone, but when you grow up that is going to happen a lot and you have to deal with it so it is good to distance yourself, but also show love no matter what because when you are rude to that person you aren’t doing any good you are only causing more problems. I also know that I only have about 2 years left in high school, I probably will never see these people again so why not all try to get a long and just be nice to each other.
#37 Choose being kind over being right
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look to your Ego first before you answer….: Equanimity is the ability to stay calm when you want to get upset the most. I don’t know if this is necessarily a good thing, but I have realized when I get worked up and mad about things I tend to shut down and not speak rather than lashing out and showing how angry I am. So I would say yes and no to practicing this in my life. Technically I am staying calm, but at the same time my silence speaks many volumes and that is how I show my anger so I guess you could also say no.
#38 Tell three people (Today) how much you love them
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?: The first person I would choose would be my mom. This is because she ultimately is the one who does the most for me. She will drop everything for me when I need her to and always has and always will have my back. My mom gives me the best advice, puts others before herself, and loves others with everything in her and for that reason I would want her to know I love her. The second person I would choose is my friend Ethan. Ethan is the most kind, caring, and selfless person I have ever met. He puts my needs before his own and shows me nothing but love even when I probably don’t deserve it. No matter what he is doing I know he would drop everything to be there for me. I don’t need to ask him for things he just does it and for that reason I want Ethan to know I love him. Finally the third person I would want to tell I love them would be my friend Emily. Emily is that one person who will be there for me no matter what. If we don’t talk for 3 weeks and I need her she will be there for me and we will pick up right where we left off. Emily and I enjoy the little things together and everything we do together makes me happy. I genuinely enjoy her presence and she is just unlike anyone I have ever met. She makes me smile from ear to ear and laugh until I have an 8 pack. I love emily so much.
Chapter 45, Develop your own helping rituals: What are some ways you can help the spread of kindness towards others?
There are many ways that you can help the spread of kindness towards others. Often times I will view videos of those who are privileged with lots of money giving out money to those in need or spreading random acts of kindness through gifting those with big items and I wish I could do that and wish I had that kind of money to just give to everyone. When I start thinking these ways I quickly remind myself that yes, giving away free vacations and cars are amazing but you can spread kindness in very simple ways as well. Just by smiling or complimenting an individual can completely alter there day. It is so simple to spread kindness and there are so many different types of ways we can spread kindness towards those around us. A simple way to spread kindness is just to be kind. Be kind to everyone that we encounter whether you are super similar or completely different, whether you have the same beliefs or not. Just be kind and treat everyone around you with love and respect and the way that you want to ultimately be treated.
Chapter 46, Every day, Tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them: Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
I love this chapter so much because I have been doing this more and more recently and it has helped so much. Everyone loves to be complimented and simply pointing out something you appreciate in someone makes that individual feel cared about and loved and can really change someones whole day and it will also make you feel so much better knowing that you made that persons day. The person I chose to message was miss Payton Miller Kay, although we are best friends we don’t always tell each other that we appreciate one another because it is kind of a known thing, but I chose to text her because I want her to know I acknowledge and appreciate her as an individual and everything that she does for me on a daily basis. She is such an important person in my life and I wanted to remind her that I love her and how important she truly is to me. It made me feel really good texting her because I want the absolute best for her and knowing she knows how important she is not only to me but everyone around her makes me feel very good because she deserves to know how special she truly is.
Chapter 47, Argue for you limitations, and they’re yours: Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
There have been many times where I have put myself out there and been denied from certain things which I know is going to happen in life, but sometimes it is still hard because it may seem like things never are in my favor, and this has caused me to not put myself out there as much and set limitations on myself, but I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. No matter what I have to keep my head up and remember to keep going and things will not always go my way and that is okay! I challenge this behavior by forcing myself to continue to put my foot out there and take challenges and risks because all though it may be hard to get shut down sometimes, I remind myself that It is always better to try and not succeed than not to try at all.